THE DANGER OF BOREDOM

"Is life not a thousand times too short for us to bore ourselves?” asked Friedrich Nietzscheom. This is the question to be unravelled by the Police in Okhlaoma, a U.S city, in the weeks ahead.

According to Fox News, on Friday, August 16 2013, three teenagers in Oklahoma shot & killed an Australian student “for the fun of it.” Christopher Lane, 22, was visiting the U.S. on a baseball scholarship at East Central University. On Friday, Lane was reportedly jogging along a road in Duncan, Oklahoma, after visiting his girlfriend when he was shot in d back, allegedly by the teens.

The Duncan police chief said the boys told police they were “bored” and so they “decided to kill somebody.” The three defendants, ages 15, 16 & 17, appeared in court yesterday, 20th August and were charged for murder.

What a sad story! But the next question is WHY? Or perhaps the real question should be "when did boredom become a lethal thing on a small island?"

“'I’m bored' is a useless thing to say", declared Louis C.K. "I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless, it goes on forever, inwardly, do U understand? The fact that U’re alive is amazing, so U don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.”

In his book, Little Brother, Cory Doctorow warns never to underestimate the determination of a kid who is time-rich & cash-poor. Indeed, an idle mind, regardless of age and status is a potential tool for the devil.

This is why it is important to consciously engage our spirit, soul & body with positive thoughts, faith-filled words & purpose-driven endeavours.

As we await the return of our Lord & Saviour Jesus, let us continually offer our lives as a pleasing sacrifice to God. "And be not conformed to this world, but be ye transformed by d renewing of your minds, that U may prove what is that good & acceptable & perfect will of God."

His grace is sufficient.

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TIME OUT WITH EKENE AGABU

Ladies and gentlemen, it's a honour to concede this space, this special weekend, to Ekene Agabu. A blunt & passionate writer, Ekene speaks to the heart of ladies and the men that cherish them. Be inspired.

First, to the men. Where we should have given, we took; where we should have loved, we lusted; and where we should have preserved, we devoured.

As a man, I must call myself to higher standards. Before I touch you, I must respect U like my mother, protect U like my sister and look out for your best interest like my baby. After all, that’s what I call U when I want U!

We’ve failed to realize that the significance of our masculinity does not lie in how many girls we can 'dis-virgin' but rather the honor we can bestow upon one.

We fail to understand that the purpose of our strength and dominance is to defend & protect not to attack and destroy. But the first mistake was not yours. U were born into a world that didn’t even give U the chance - the chance to be who U really are without any pressure or expectation.

From day one U were unconsciously groomed from childhood to be an acceptable accessory to a man’s life. U were constantly made conscious of a false milestone that suggested your value was based upon a man finding U worthy to be his, instead of being made aware of who U are by virtue of your own unique existence.

Your worth as a woman was reduced to two things: being a wife & your ability to bear a child. And in some cultures, U had to bear the right type of child. And if per chance U failed in one of these areas, U were a nobody.

Unfortunately, along d way, U may have made some mistakes in trying to fulfill this false notion of who U are supposed to be. Bad relationship after bad relationship continually emphasized d lie that U were nothing without a man.

Having said that, I do not believe we are responsible for the things that are done or said to us. But I do know that we are responsible for allowing those things continue in us...

To be Cont'd nxt week.

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INFATUATION, LOVE AND OTHER STORIES

As a young boy gliding through the murky waters of puberty and adolescence, Sam grew up watching lots of emotionally-charged soaps on TV. It was the era of the irresistible SECRETS OF THE SAND, the unforgettable NO ONE BUT YOU, the alluring BEHIND THE CLOUDS, the adrenalin-pumping PASSIONS, the sophisticated FORTUNES, the thought-provoking GARDENER’S DAUGHTER, the rib-cracking FUJI HOUSE OF COMMOTION, the magical SECOND CHANCE and of course, the never ending SUPER STORY.

The scenes, plots and twists that characterized these flicks edged indelible emotional images on Sam’s mind. He just couldn’t imagine why some guys chose to break the hearts of beautiful girls. It was so tough to stomach the fact that a ‘fine girl’ wouldn’t mind dumping her ‘fine boy’ once she sees a better and secure future in another man – regardless of his ‘fineness’.

But that was then, not any more. As a child, Sam thought like one, but now that he’s older and wiser, he obviously knows better. No wonder the holy writ warns of the deceit of beauty and fickleness of emotions. For all its worth, premium should, always, be placed on men and women who fear the Lord.

While brooding on how to blur the thin line between infatuation and love, Sam found an ally in Chuck Klosterman. “It has always been my understanding that being ‘infatuated’ with someone means you think you are in love, but you are actually not,” he began.

“Infatuation (supposedly) is just a foolish, fleeting feeling. But if being ‘in love’ is an abstract and intangible notion, with no way to physically prove it to anyone else, how then is love any different than having an infatuation?” he quipped. To Chuck, “Both are human constructions. If you THINK you are in love with someone and you FEEL like you are in love with someone, then you obviously are.”

In her book, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace With Marriage, Elizabeth Gilbert summed it up in one breathe. “Infatuation is not quite the same thing as love; it’s more like love’s shady second cousin who’s always borrowing money and can’t hold down a job.”

Indeed, love is a beautiful thing. If you’ve found it, good for you; if you haven’t, please don’t give up. Keep sowing the seeds of love wherever and whenever you have the opportunity. As long as the earth remains, seed time and harvest shall never cease.

Finally, for those who have given up on love (either married or unmarried), remember, Love is kind, patient, rejoices in truth not evil, always hopeful, loyal and trusting. Love is never: jealous, selfish, quick tempered, and doesn’t keep a record of wrongs that others do. Love never fails, for God is Love.

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STAYING FOCUSED IN A CONFUSED WORLD

Lagos, Nigeria's commercial capital, is a land flowing with milk, honey and bitter-leaf. To the uninitiated, the acclaimed centre of excellence will only come across as an eldorado. To veterans, however, Eko is an irony of sorts.

Make no mistake about it, billions flow in the land. And so do red oil and eggs. While stepping out to work this morning, yours sincerely encountered two small calabashes - filled with sparkling red oil and 3 eggs each - placed at the strategic Obalende-CMS bridge intersection. Haba! On a Monday morning?!!

Spontaneously, I bursted into tongues, nullifying and destroying the works of the devil. I have learnt not to take such things for granted. Trust me, such a 'ritualistic' sight could easily distort your mental calculations for the day.

From daylight highway rituals to the perpetually angry bus drivers, and then to the ever-demanding bosses at work, staying focused in today's world indeed takes a great deal of courage.

Courage, in this context, "involves working at a relationship, continually seeking solutions to difficult problems, and staying focused during stressful periods," says Denis Waitley.

So how do U stay focused in a confused world like ours?

First, define yourself. Who exactly are you? What do you do for a living? Why are you here? What is it U feel U are born to do that makes U fulfilled?

If you don't have straight answers to those questions, then you should at least have a clue. But if you don't, then you need to jerk up your 'self-esteemometer'.

Your result is a function of your level of self-esteem. Iyanla Vanzant puts it this way, “Everything that happens to U is a reflection of what U believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth.”

This is a life-long journey, not a one-off thing. If U think U can, U can.

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70 to 120: WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE?

Picture this. You’re sitted at an event in the expansive and exquisite Shell Hall of the Muson Centre, Lagos. The weather is cool and friendly. The mood of the evening is light. You engage in small talks with your partner as you await the concert to begin. Suddenly, a funny character breezes on stage. And before you could say Jack Robinson, everyone is clapping furiously? “Haba!” “Why na?” “What did he say?”, I rushed at my partner, in a bid to catch up with the excitement. The comedian/MC had ordered everyone to clap the number of years they wanted to live on the earth!

What?! OMG! Not again! Your excited mood switches instantly as you sink into your seat, shaking your head in disappointment. For you, the show was over. Matters regarding longevity are too important to be trivialized. You turn to your Blackberry and Ping the rest of the evening away. End of story. Thanks for watching. *smiles*

But seriously, lemme ask you. What do you believe? Have you ever thought about it? How long do you think you’re gonna last on the earth? 

Why not let’s examine what the Good Book says about it. You know, some of my friends say I’m too spiritual. And you know what I tell them? I’d rather be spiritual than carnal, “for this is the victory that overcomes the world – even our faith”. My dear friend, it’s a jungle out there. And you can’t afford to be on the fence. It’s either you are on the Lord’s side or otherwise.

Back to our discourse. As a young boy, I first heard it from Bishop David Oyedepo when he declared that the minimum number of years every believer should be 120 years. Really? Well, he backs up his position with Gen. 6:3, “Then the Lord said, ‘My Spirit shall not abide in man forever, for he is flesh: his days shall be 120 years.’” The bishop also has a living example and fulfillment of that scripture in the 113-year old Pa Sadela (of the Gospel Apostolic Church). He is reputed to be the world’s oldest preacher.

During the sage’s 110^th birthday celebration, 3 years ago, he declared that dying at 70 is premature. According to him, three of his sisters lived to be 130 before they died, adding that his longevity is hereditary. During the thanksgiving service he danced so much and with such vigour that many wondered at the spectacle.

Before you get confused as regards whom to believe among these two men, and many others who have various positions on this subject, I put it to you that the choice is yours. The scripture is God’s word. And you can only explain scripture by scripture. If you spend time with the word, you’ll discover that these scriptural passages on longevity indeed complement each other.

Alongside the above scriptures, I share some more below for your meditation. Remember, after all is said and done, the just will only live by his faith. Selah…

“With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.” Psalm 90:10

“The fear of the Lord prolongs life, but the years of the wicked will be short.” Proverbs 10:27

For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit…” 1 Peter 3:10

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” Exodus 20:12

“What man is there who desires life and loves many days, that he may see good? Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit.” Psalm 34:12 – 13

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SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE

 Today’s voyage is of a different path, a departure from the norm. It’s a cursory but symbolic examination of how we can reduce the clutter in our lives. True, life could be often brutish, nasty and short, but “in order to seek one’s own direction, one must simplify the mechanics of ordinary, everyday life,” counseled Plato. And “the greatest step towards a life of simplicity is to learn to let go,” declared Steve Maraboli.

In a move to appease readers who consider my treatises a “very long thing”, justice will be done on today’s theme by simply allowing the ever-green quotes of the ancients to convey my thoughts. You know, “only great minds can afford a simple style.”

So, here are some of my best collections on how to simplify your life:

“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.” – W. Rogers

“If you can’t explain it to a six year old, you don’t understand it yourself.” – A. Einstein

“Clutter and confusion are failures of design, not attributes of information.” – E. Tuft

“Dress to enjoy your day, not so that others can enjoy you.” – C. Carver

“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.” – Socrates

“When you have cleared all of your clutter, you can be of greater service to those around you.” – M. Kitson

“It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast; you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.” – E. Cantor

“Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.” – A. Exupe

 “The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.” – H. Hofmann

“Unnecessary possessions are unnecessary burdens. If you have them, you have to take care of them! There is great freedom in living a simple life. It is those who have enough but not too much who are the happiest.” – Peace Pilgrim

  

On a final note, to the business-oriented, Sanjiv Karani counsels thus: “In today’s dynamic environment, Simplexity (i.e. the simultaneous perfection of simplicity and complexity) is the organization’s only form of sustainable competitive advantage. In the current global, turbulent and hyper-competitive environment, complexity/simplicity is no longer an either/or proposition. In order for you to drive and thrive in this economic environment, you require the mastery of both complexity and simplicity.”

In other words, while you guard your trade secrets jealously be sure to consistently create clear expectations around your products and services.

So what steps are you going to take in simplifying your life? Feel free to share your thoughts. Wishing you God’s best in the days ahead!

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A Case for Happiness

“Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design into the present. People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be. So why not smile every chance you get. Not because life has been easy, but because you choose to be happy and grateful for all the good things you do have and all the problems you know you don’t have.”

Happiness is a choice. And it’s high time we stopped blaming others for our unhappiness. Let’s face it: many of us take solace in trading blames just because we do not want to accept responsibility for the events that happen to us. True, we often do not have control over people and circumstance, but we sure do have control over our ‘happiness thermometer’.

Let’s take this a step further. Why go for Happiness when you can have Joy! “Joy is not in things; it’s in us,” says Richard Wagner. Even Oprah Winfrey describes joy as a sustained sense of well-being and internal peace – a connection to what matters. Dear friend, it is easier to perpetually create a world of happiness in your life by having the joy of the Lord in your heart.

Make no mistake about it, there are people (believers) who have the joy of the Lord in their hearts but still have mood swings. Some even look and appear perpetually sad. They think it’s piety. No sir, it’s not! They are only projecting a negative image of Christ to the world.

Just like me, you can choose to be happy. Regardless of your account balance, marital status or level of insecurity in the country, you can choose to smile, be optimistic and look at the brighter side of life. There are too many negative things and people out there already. No matter what they say to you or about you, you've got to choose to be happy. With the joy of the Lord flowing from within, you can consciously create an atmosphere of happiness and peace around you. "Not by power or by might, but my Spirit," says the Lord. Selah...

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Sam Adel'

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