“My
advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife, you’ll be happy; if
not, you’ll become a philosopher”. Those were the words of
Socrates, one of the influential philosophers and thinkers of the 20th century. And for those curious to know
the secret to his been staying married, ‘My wife tells me that if I ever
decide to leave, she is coming with me’, says Jon BonJovi.
Today’s ‘journey’, however, is
of a different kind. The conventional wisdom which places the responsibility of
marital success on the shoulders of both husband and wife has been challenged.
There’s a twist to the tale. And you need to drop your conventional and
religious garb to appreciate this thought pattern.
Actually, I stumbled
upon this treatise on a friend’s Facebook wall and I considered it worthy of
circulation to my ever delightful audience. Please check on it and let me know
your thoughts. Cheers!
IF A MARRIAGE IS SWEET AND WORKING, LOOK
AGAIN, THE MAN, ESPECIALLY, IS DOING SOMETHING RIGHT!
I expect ladies to kick, and that’s natural
because traditionally, women are more relational and relationship focused than
men, but I want to appeal for a little patience so we can all see just what
this unconventional thought might state.
First of all let me concede right from the
start that most women WANT, DESIRE and if possible DEMAND that their marriages
not only work but that it should be sweet, a paradise that their entire life is
woven around.
We
could say a woman, deep down in her heart, seem to expect her whole life climax
in marriage. Marriage is a huge ultimate destination in most women’s mind. In
fact, when you find a woman who loaths marriage, you are looking at an
individual who had been forced by circumstances to abandon her huge and maybe
only dream of paradise. To lose a chance to have a great marriage for a woman
is totally unpardonable. I won’t marry such a woman for a price of a million
dollars. She is a disaster waiting to explode. So here we are, almost all women
naturally wants to have a great marriage. Without gainsaying, most women would
do whatever they deem necessary to make their marriages work and sweet.
So
how is the man the key to a sweet and a working marriage then? Most men don’t
view marriage with nostalgia as women do. For most men, marriage is just
another stage that one is naturally expected to grow into. Most men don’t think
marriage hold much promise beyond the respect that society attaches to it. If
you thought this male attitude is inconsequential you are in error, and the
error is monumental! Put in plain
language, it is sabotage, it is the reason why most marriages are in shambles
and under-performing!!
No man can hold on to this prevalent notion
about marriage and have a sweet and working marriage. When you find a sweet and
working marriage, there is an unusual man in the mix. No matter the efforts of
the best of women to make marriage work until her man takes the driver’s seat
in that marriage she would soon tire and like 90% of women she would turn their
passion toward her offsprings fiercely. If we must ask the position of the divine
on this matter, man is designed to be the driver of marriage that’s what it
means to be the head, he is expected to design a sweet vision for everyone to
follow.
In the beginning Man began life with
marriage, and we are going to end it in marriage of eternal duration. Could
marriage be more serious than this? Sabotage, that’s the biggest challenge
marriages are facing in homes and its coming from the inappropriate value men
place on this divine institution.
Ephesians
5 : 25 - Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church and
gave himself for it;
26 - that he might sanctify and cleans it with the washing of the water by the
word,
27 - that he might present it to himself a glorious Church, not having spot, or
wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
So if it’s going to work
and if it’s going to be sweet, just as Christ’s pattern suggests, it’s up to
the man and not the woman.
Why?
Simple, most women
already crave a sweet marriage. So every little commitment of the man to make
marriage work would most likely receive an exaggerated cooperation and zealous
participation from the women. There are always exception of course, but most
women are grieving because they have been everywhere; prayer houses and shrines
seeking to make it work but to no avail. Some of them even go into the extent
of hypnotizing their men thinking they can engineer perpetual romance, thinking
control can give it to them. What they get is usually worse, they get a moron.
Nothing indeed compares to a man in his right mind making his home a paradise.
The only kinds of women who would abuse the offer of such a man are those who
would be shocked that there could still be men of this stock and of course
those obnoxious ones, who in my opinion, don’t qualify to marry.
Most men view marriage, good and sweet
marriage as nothing of much significance because they lack spiritual
understanding. Most men are completely unaware that divine help is opulently
available to those whose marriages are worked beyond the tenets of social
studies.
Consider
these:
(a)
if two of you shall agree concerning ANYTHING it shall be done for you of my
father in heaven . Matthew 18: 19
(b) one shall chase a thousand, and two shall put 10 thousand to flight.
(c) if you don’t treat your wife right your prayers would be hindered. I Peter 3: 7
(c) if you don’t treat your wife right your prayers would be hindered. I Peter 3: 7
...And there's a whole lot more!
Bottom line is, however
great a woman’s passion is to make her marriage work, typically, she would wear
herself out and thin until a man sees the value in having a beautiful marriage.
FINAL
WORD:
“I didn’t marry you because you were perfect”, declares Thornton
Wilder. “I didn’t even marry you because I loved you,” he continued. “I married
you because you gave me a promise. That promise made up for your faults. And
the promise I gave you made up for mine. Two imperfect people got married and it
was the promise that made the marriage. And when our children were growing up,
it wasn’t a house that protected them; and it wasn’t our love that protected
them – it was that promise.”
Kindly
share.
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Wonderful piece
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