MANY QUESTIONS, ONE ANSWER

If a loving God exists, why is there so much suffering in the world?

If a loving God exists, why will he throw millions of people who refuse to obey Him into hell?

If a loving God exists, why will He allow Boko-Haram snuff out the lives of 30 innocent young children and their teacher while learning in school?

If a loving God exists, why does He folds His arms and watch the serial rape and murder of patriotic Youth Corpers who left their secure homes to the hinterlands in the service of their country?

If a loving God exists, why hasn’t He killed the over recycled politicians who keep stealing the wealth of Nigeria day in, day out?

If a loving God exists, why will He allow flood, earthquakes, tornadoes, thunder, lightning and other disasters to wreck havoc, pain and trauma to struggling individuals and families who barely have enough to eat?

If a loving God exists, why does He seem unconcerned with the slow and steady spread of gay rights all over the world, at the risk of destroying the sanctity of the marriage institution?

If a loving God exists, why does He allow pain, diseases, unemployment, poverty, misery, divorce, heartbreaks, death, abortion, murder, injustice, exploitation, oppression and corruption to pervade the earth?

Lee Strobel, an atheist turned Christian – in his book, The Case for Faith, gives a succinct answer to these questions. Hear him:

“The answer to suffering is not an answer at all. It’s the Answerer. It’s Jesus himself. It’s not a bunch of words. It’s the Word. It’s not a tightly woven philosophical argument. It’s a person. The person. The answer to suffering cannot just be an abstract idea, because this isn’t an abstract issue; it’s a personal issue. It requires a personal response. The answer must be someone, not just something, because the issue involves someone – God, where are you?

“Jesus is there, sitting beside us in the lowest places of our lives. Are we broken? He was broken, like bread, for us. Are we despised? He was despised and rejected of men. Do we cry out that we can’t take any more? He was a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. Do people betray us? He was sold out himself.

“Are our tenderest  relationships broken? He too loved and was rejected. Do people turn from us? They hid their faces from him as from a leper. Does he descend into all of our hells? Yes, he does. From the depths of a Nazi death camp, Corrie ten Boom wrote: ‘No matter how deep our darkness, He is deeper still.’ He not only rose from the dead, He changed the meaning of death and therefore of all the little deaths – the sufferings that anticipate death and make up parts of it."

He is mocked in the Nigeria, sneered at in Soweto, outlawed in Saudi Arabia and enslaved in Sudan. He is the One we love to hate, yet to us He has chosen to return love. Every tear we shed becomes His tear. He may not wipe them away yet, but He will… Someday!

If you do not have a relationship with Him, this is an opportunity. Yesterday is a cancelled cheque, tomorrow is but only a promissory note. Today, the door of grace is still open. Jesus wants to give your life a meaning. Confess your sins and ask Him into your life. He loves you and always will.

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Sam Adel’

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Why It Pays Not To Mind Your Own Business

If you’re broke and want to make money, this is for you. If you need to make more money to boost your income, you’ll find this indispensable. But if you’re satisfied with your status quo and you think you don’t have any reason to worry about anything, then you’re my number one target. Listen up; there is fire on the mountain! Someone is after you and yours; and now is the time to turn the table.

The greatest thinkers and influencers of our world are individuals who realized, at some point in the course of their lives, that their purpose of existence is more than mere survival. For them, life is more than clothes, shelter and food. Deep reflections, spiritual conversations and consistent study are some of the virtues that produced the timeless insights that have spurred these unique men and women to a higher level of living: living for others.

How many times have you been told to “mind your own business”? Well, I receive such counsel very often – directly or indirectly. And I have discovered that, more often than not, such admonitions come from people who do not practice what they preach. In the context of this discourse, the call to mind your business is the call to be complacent, indifferent, ‘contented’, ‘satisfied’ and maintain status quo. Here are reasons why you should step up your game and NOT just mind your own business only.

First, you need to know that there are people who are being paid to “mind you”. There are folks whose life purpose and career is to sit on your case till they legally milk you dry and make you feel bad about yourself. When they are done, they are gone; and if you bounce back, they are back. So the cycle continues.

In today’s capitalist-driven economy, you are conditioned to pay all kinds of bills (during your working years and even when retired) to everyone, excluding yourself. And this is not just monetary. If you don’t turn the table quickly, you might die unhappy and unfulfilled. So why not observe your environment, discover the needs that can be met and create clear expectations around the product or service you choose to offer.

Second, your life is a responsibility – make it count. You have a unique skill, talent and virtue. Use it to complement others in your sphere of influence. You need to learn how to profit with your knowledge. The One who gave you life will surely ask for His Return on Investment, someday. So, be sure to, first, mind your own business well, followed by others’, while your breathe lasts.

Third, you were created to work. It’s in your DNA. Work brings fulfillment. Minding other people’s business, with the right motive, gives unspeakable joy. It elevates you spiritually, mentally, emotionally and financially. As a young person, seek to “work to learn, not just to earn” – for this opens you up to endless opportunities which are often blinded to other workers who only look forward to pay day. Working in a field where your passion lies, regardless of the remuneration, refines your perspective and world view. It guarantees your successful transition from a bloody employee to an inimitable employer.

Finally, when you think of people and events around you and how to contribute your quota to problem-solving, your mind is stimulated and put to work. There is little or no time for frivolities and bad blood. You now have a reason to live and let live. What a glorious way to live your life!

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Retaining Your Healing and Resisting the Devil

Ignorance is costly. It has cost many their happiness, jobs, marriage, properties, rights, health, money and even their lives. Indeed, we live in a world that is fast passing away; and the earlier we realized our authority as believers, the more assured we are of victory over the enemy of our souls. “In this world you will have tribulations”, Jesus counselled, “but be of good cheer for I have overcome the world”. Despite this re-assuring statement of Christ and many other biblical promises, why do many still find it difficult to get healed and/or retain their healing? 

Today, I’ll be sharing Bro. Kenneth Hagin’s experience on this subject. Be rest assured that his experiences have biblical justifications. I have practiced them in my own life and experienced similar results. If you have been battling issues regarding your health, divorce, marriage, relationships, finance, job, career, ministry, etc, the following insights from this man of faith will be of immense help to you.

“Often we realize that certain trials in our lives are the work of the enemy, and we cry out to God to rebuke him and alter circumstances for us. However, God’s Word tells us to rebuke the enemy ourselves. In James 4:7, we are told, “Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” The authority over the devil is ours. The responsibility is ours. We’ve got to depend on the Spirit of God to know when demons are present and to know how to deal with them. We’re helpless without both the Spirit and the Word. Don’t just be a Word person without the Spirit, and don’t just be a Spirit person without the Word. Many try to act on the Word of God without the Spirit of God. You’ve got to have both of them. The Spirit and the Word agree.

“You don’t need to deal with a spirit in every case of healing. But if you have to, the Lord will show you. You’ll only defeat the devil when you’ve got a foundation of God’s Word and you act upon it. Many got their healing from big meetings, crusades or encounters but after two weeks, their healing was gone. Why did they lose it? Because they didn’t know their authority. They didn’t know how to hold onto what they had, so they didn’t try to exercise authority themselves; or if they said anything, they said the wrong thing.

 “You can be released from oppression to your body and your mind. You can exercise spiritual authority over others as long as they are in your presence. You can take authority over all unseen forces. If you learn how to exercise spiritual authority like this, it will work in your home as well. I’ve heard of women who exercised their spiritual authority when their unsaved husbands came home arguing and fighting. The women had learned how to quietly and calmly rebuke the evil spirits behind the situation and claim authority over them – and the situation changed.

“I learned how to do this many years ago when some of my relatives would get extremely angry. I simply took authority over the situation. They knew when I did it, because they looked at me with a startled expression – and they straightened out immediately. I wasn’t exercising authority over their will, however, but over the spirit that made them act the way they did.

“Conditions exist because we permit them to. Of course, we’re always going to have spiritual babies, and we ought to carry them on our faith, but some of us ought to grow up enough to be able to help look after the babies and not leave it up to the pastor to do everything. Matthew 18:18 says, “Whatsoever things ye refuse to be permitted on earth will be refused to be permitted in heaven.” Exercise your authority, now!”

In summary, to be qualified to get healed, retain your healing and resist the devil over every area of your life, you need to be: Born-again; Get grounded in the Word of God; Learn to walk in Spirit; and then consistently Exercise your Authority! However, if need be, don’t hesitate to seek help from men and women of God. Remember, exercising your authority and living in constant dominion and victory is not a ‘sometime’ thing, it’s an ‘all-time’ thing. God bless you!

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Finding Your Place In This World: BEHIND THE SCENES

"For many, every day is the same. And when each day is the same as the next, it is because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives every day the sun rises. God delights in working through our everyday life and experiences. He has an important place in His plan for us even if we are behind the scenes and out of the spotlight. No matter whom you are or where your daily journey takes you, when you stay available for His service He will show what He can do with a yielded LIFE.”

Finding your place in this world is a very significant part of our existence. While some yearn to be in the spotlight, others crave to strut their stuff behind the scenes. It’s not your position that matters, it’s your impact. There’s a beauty behind the scene that many have not discovered. It’s the glory of the ancients, the joy of the ages. Many of the leading lights today once had their humble beginning behind the scenes. Some emerged from the bush to the palace; others, from the prison to the government house.

“Samuel served the Lord by helping Eli the priest…” 1Sam.3:1. This is a very significant portion of the Scriptures that challenges the regular conventional concept of (kingdom) service. Truth is, you don’t have to be in the spotlight all the time. Helping the “priest”, doing the background work and staying behind the scene is as important as “being the priest” himself. And like Samuel who eventually stepped into prominence when his time came, you've got to be patient. You won’t be ‘there’ for long. Just keep working and doing what you know how to do best. Don’t be carried away by the fact that you are not the one getting the applause and accolades. It’s only a matter of time. It is turn by turn.

Having said that, it is important to state that not everyone craves the spotlight. You’ve got to know yourself. While some will eventually step into prominence, the fulfillment of others lie in pulling the strings behind the scene. The bottomline is: check your motives. Why do you do what you do? You don’t have to be in the spotlight to be proud; you might as well be an arrogant behind-the-scene worker. Your driving force is key. Get it right.

Over time, I have realized that whatever I do – either in the secular or kingdom setting, I am ultimately working for God. He is my Number One Master. Therefore, I must be contented with my role (on stage or behind the scene) and play my part well. As long as my service is unto Lord, position is irrelevant to my attitude and performance. What is paramount is faithfulness, humility and doing what I have to do, for Him, with gladness of heart. So help me God!

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SAVE, SPEND, SAVE: The Triplets You Need To Adopt

I once asked my best friend, “How do you make your money?” In one breathe, she fired back, “By spending it!” I paused for a moment. “Really?” I thought to myself. I’ve never heard anyone put it that way. Anyways, it sounded cool but also caused a stir within me until I later discovered that my friend is actually not only a ‘big spender’ but also a ‘big saver’. For her, savings was not only a culture, but a lifestyle. Afterall, you can only spend what you have (saved). And as a matter of fact, I'm aware she doesn't earn big salary, her pay is just modest. So I was fully persuaded that she must be doing something ‘extra’.

Having said that, you’ll agree with me that the concept of saving and spending is as old as mankind. Despite this, many a people still struggle with their ‘inability’ to start and sustain a savings plan. And trust me, that ‘inability’ means different things to different people. In the course of my work, yours sincerely has had the priviledge of interacting with a diverse range of people from all walks of life. The avalanche of excuses presented by prospects who find it hard to ‘save’ is mind-boggling. These ‘inabilities’ range from the superstitious to the mundane; from the commonsensical to the absurd. Nevertheless, I have chanced upon a number of folks whose knowledge and attitude towards financial matters is remarkable. Whichever side of the fence you belong, the 3 triplets presented here are up for adoption. And they’ll surely guarantee your transition to a safe and secure financial future.

Triplet No. 1: Invest in yourself.

The best commodity you can spend money on is your mind, for “an investment in knowledge, pays the best interest”, says Benjamin Franklin. Your breakthrough from financial struggles begins the moment you acknowledge your lack of and need for financial education. As I stated in an earlier article, there is no substitute for the acquisition of knowledge. Learning is a life-long adventure. No shortcuts. But if you are satisfied with your status quo then don’t bother sweating the small stuff. If not, then the next question is: “How do I begin?” The answer is: Start. 

Begin by asking yourself and writing down 10 honest questions – about your life, attitude, spending habits, etc that you want to change and improve. Then seek help. Read financial materials, articles, journals, blogs and books. Hang out with people who can help you. Remember, two poor people cannot help each other. Stop asking people for money, rather ask them how they make and grow theirs. “Formal education will make you a living; self education will make you a fortune.”

Triplet No. 2: Start a reliable restrictive savings plan.

“How many millionaires do you know who have become wealthy by investing in savings accounts? I rest my case,” declared Robert G. Allen. I admit, that’s a harball. You and I know that everyone needs a savings account as a reliable place for emergency fund. However, Robert G. Allen’s point is this: a savings account will only give you minimal gains given the extremely low interest rates. The alternative is a restrictive savings. And this is not the same as the ‘cooperative’ savings, ‘esusu’, ‘ajo’ that obtains in most working environments today.

What then is a  reliable restrictive savings plan? It is a pay-yourself-scheme, designed for every working class to become adequately conscious of the need to have for themselves a compulsory, regular and protective savings out of their income. It is operated by a reputable financial institution that is registered with the federal government. Such plans helps you to cultivate regular savings culture during your working years, assists to mop fund to set up personal business or investment in real estate, assists in planning for a comfortable retirement, a legal means to reduce tax burden and provides solid income protection for the family in the event of the unexpected. For more details, please call or inbox the author on 08034421195.

Triplet No. 3: Give back.

“Someone is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago.” It’s not how much you make that matters, it’s how much you give.

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Sam Adel’

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A Dialogue To Remember

“I can tell if two people are in love,” quips Jarod Kintz, “how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are”. Well, fair enough, if you ask me. But isn’t there much more to love than hand-holding and joint sanitation work? And is this even really an appropriate time to talk about love? Let’s face it people: why does the world seem to reek from so much hate and injustice? The answer isn’t far-fetched. While ‘men’ slept, ‘facts’ gradually lost its priceless virtue of being sacred and ‘truth’ metamorphosed into a relative term.

Pray, what more can be said of the controversial discharge and acquittal of Major Al-Mustapha by the Court of Appeal? A man, who a lower court, had earlier convicted and sentenced to death by hanging for the murder of Kudirat Abiola – wife of M.K.O Abiola – acclaimed winner of Nigeria’s1993 Presidential Elections. And how angry and resolved are we to protest the recent passage of the Senate bill which grants official appendage to an already rampant practice of marrying underage girls. The new law says a girl no longer needs to attain 18 years of age to be married any more. As long as she consents to any marriage proposal, even if she is 18 months old, the intending couple has a free rite of passage.

As I brooded over these abnormalities that pervades our clime, I received an interesting ‘love dialogue’ from a friend which lifted my spirit. You know, often times, it is necessary to take a break from reality to peep into the world of the ideal, for “darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”

Here you go.

Boy:  Do you have a boyfriend?
Girl:  Nope. I don't want to have a boyfriend.

Boy:  Gen. 2:18, The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Girl:  But I don't love you.

Boy:  1 John 4:8, "Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."
Girl:  And how do I know you mean those words?

Boy:  Matthew 12:34b, "For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks."
Girl:  But how can I be sure that you're loyal and honest?

Boy:  Mark 13:31, "Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away."
Girl:  But why me? There are a lot of girls out there.

Boy:  Proverbs 31:29, "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
Girl:  But what is in me that you like?

Boy:  Song of Solomon 4:7, "You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you."
Girl:  But I'm not all that beautiful...you're exaggerating.

Boy:  Proverbs 31:30, "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."
Girl:  What happens if I say yes?

Boy:  Genesis 2:24, "Therefore man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."
Girl:  How come you know the scriptures this much?

Boy:  Joshua 1:8, "This book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous and you will have good success."
Girl:  Wooow! I can see you really love God.
Boy:  Psalm 34:8, "Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him.
Girl:  Hmmm…OK, please give me time to think about it.

Boy: Philippians 4:8, "Finally brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."
Girl:  Awwww I love you already!
Boy:  Revelation 22:21b, "Amen!”

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FAITH versus FEELINGS

Talk is cheap. Almost everyone appears to have an opinion of what faith is or is not. While some are masters at theory and rhetoric, others lay claim to the fact that they practice faith more than they can explain it. However, both categories share a common virtue – they mix up faith and feelings. For instance, some people equate faith with a perpetual religious high. When that high wears off, as it inevitably does, they start to doubt whether they have any faith at all. To be sure, feelings are connected with some dimensions of faith, but a lot of that has to do with people’s temperaments. Some folks are just not wired to feel very much, even though they may have strong values and convictions.

We need to be careful about our feelings – they can be fickle. We could be emotionally up and down, and it doesn’t mean it is a fluctuation of faith. Consider this. A man once told a Counsellor, “I don’t like my wife anymore”. The Counsellor replied, “Go home and love her”. But he said, “You don’t understand – I have no feelings for her anymore”. “I wasn’t asking how you felt,” said the Counsellor, “I was saying, ‘Go home and love her’”. They guy then said, “But it would be emotionally dishonest for me to treat my wife that way when I don’t feel it.”

So the Counsellor asked him, “Does your mother love you?” That seemed to insult him. He said, “Yeah, of course.” “About 3 weeks after she had brought you home from the hospital and you were screaming with dirty diapers and she had to wake up dog-tired, put her bare feet on the cold floor, clean up your miserable diapers and feed you a bottle. Did you think she was really excited doing that?” asked the Counsellor. “No”, she replied. “Well then, I think your mother was being emotionally dishonest.” Gbam! End of Discussion!!

In one of his sermons, Charles H. Spurgeon, a prominent 19^th century preacher, counseled thus: There are some who fancy that faith cometh by feeling. If they could feel emotions either of horror or of exquisite delight, they would think they are possessors of faith; but till they have felt what they have heard described in certain biographies of undoubtedly good men, they cannot believe, or even if they have a measure of faith, they cannot hope that it is true faith.

"Faith does not come by feeling, but through faith arises much of holy feeling, and the more a man lives in the walk of faith, as a rule, the more will he feel and enjoy the light of God’s countenance. Faith hath something firmer to stand upon than those ever-changing feelings which, like the weather of our own sunless land, is fickle and frail, and changeth speedily from brightness into gloom. You may get feeling from faith, and the best of it, but you will be long before you will find any faith that is worth the having, if you try to evoke it from feelings."

With an air of finality, Smith Wigglesworth declares, “I am not moved by what I see. I am not moved by what I feel. I am moved only by what I believe.”

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BUSINESS 101: Rescued From the Blows of an Angry Customer

The day started just like any other and I had felt motivated to step out of my room to make some sales calls. Not by phone but by legs. This was 2004 – only few years into the GSM revolution. Call and SMS charges were still astronomical at the time, so I had to engage my legs in order to cut my operational costs. The previous day had been profitable. I had made some sales and I was beginning to feel good about the ‘job’. Here I was – a bloody freshman who had just resumed school that year to study a course with a very long name. Well, that didn’t matter to me, as long as I was studying that course at the self-acclaimed Most Beautiful Campus in Africa. I’ll have to leave you to figure that out.

Anyways, back to business. I was an employee of CostumeFocus Laundry Club – the first laundry cleaning agency in school at the time. As a marketer, my job was to sell “recharge cards” to clients. Each of the N200 denominated cards had N20 valued ‘dots’ printed on them. To wash a piece of fabric cost N20; so whenever our ‘boys’ came to pick up clients’ clothes, the dot(s) was marked or shaded – depending on the number of clothes to be washed. This excluded other complementary services such as starching and ironing which attracted an extra N20 charge, respectively. The laundry club business was indeed an answer to the prayers of many a student who couldn’t give their expensive clothes to the local women who washed for students in the hall. The women had a poor track record of washing with brushes that spoilt fragile clothes; and in other cases, there was outright loss or theft of clothes. Therefore our entry into that ‘industry’ was indeed a respite to many – thanks to our marketing and packaging strategies. The commission I earned on each card I sold was quite attractive and I was glad I could earn some more money to augment my monthly stipend from home. But I never knew that the young and fledging company had operational issues that would soon land me in trouble.

Fred (not real name), a 100-level law student and next-door neighbor was my first client; and he was clearly one of the ‘big boys’ in the hall, whatever that means. When I was closing the sale on him, he had asked me over and over again if I was sure that his clothes will be delivered on time. I gave him my word. Our boss had also given us his word, so we (marketers) had no cause to worry about the ability of the company to deliver on its promise. Our job was to sell cards, sell more cards and sell more and more cards while the boss worries about the rest.

On that fateful Friday, Fred had given our ‘boys’ all his three white shirts and trousers on a Saturday morning (law students are required to wear only white and black outfits to class), to be delivered by Monday evening – ahead of his Tuesday morning class. The promise was to deliver within 48 hours. I was still sleeping on Monday morning when l I heard a bang on my door. “Where is that Sam of a boy?!” Fred shouted. “Where are my clothes? Isn’t it 48hrs already?” he yelled. My roommates watched as I staggered out of my bed trying to explain why his clothes had not arrived. Unfortunately, I didn’t make sense to myself – how much more to my angry client. I tried placing a call to my boss but the network turned its back on me. I tried to speak some ‘English’ so as to calm my angry client but it fell on deaf ears. Fred had no other clothes to wear to class, and you know, ‘big boys’ don’t borrow. So it is clear that he had every right to be angry. Fortunately, he cooled his temper and gave me a stern warning and ultimatum that if his clothes didn’t arrive first thing in the morning, he will kill me.

I had never been threatened all my life. This was a whole new vista for me. To be sure, I wasn’t scared, but I was kinda troubled. I didn’t want to lose this customer and well as other prospects who might hear of that ugly incident. How could this happen when I was just beginning to ‘enjoy’ the job? So I had to place calls upon calls to my boss to find out what exactly was happening. My people couldn’t give me a satisfactory response. At a point, they couldn’t even find the clothes. But I had no choice but to keep putting pressure on my boss. This went on until the ultimatum expired and Fred came back firing from all cylinders. The class he was billed to attend was few minutes away and he had started cursing from his room down through the corridor, until he barged into my room boiling with anger. I was visibly shaken. His face was red with anger. His toned muscles were set for action. I stood helpless as Fred made to pound and box the living daylight out of me. But for the timely intervention of my roommates I would have been battered and scuffled beyond recognition. You can imagine the embarrassment that followed the rescue mission of my roommates. Of course, my company and I became the butt of jokes in my room. And it climaxed when ‘my company’ finally delivered WET clothes to my disappointed client later in the evening.

After that incident, I left; and I later learnt that the company also folded up few months afterwards, perhaps primarily as a result of their inability to deliver on promises, among other things. Looking back, I learnt few lessons that have been useful for in life and business:

-  Start small, but don’t remain small. As you grow, be flexible. Review your system processes and expand your capacity to meet customer demands. “In the end, the customer doesn’t know, or care, if you are small or large as an organization,” Giorgio Armani counsels. “He or she only focuses on the garment hanging on the rail in the store”.

-  As a business owner, you must be on top of your game. Being proactive is a virtue that should be cultivated. One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. “If you don’t drive your business, you’ll be driven out of business”, B.C. Forbes.

-  Don’t give up on your dreams. You might be broke but please ensure that you are not broken. Your driving force is what keeps you afloat during your trying moments. “I’m not a driven business man, but a driven artist. I never think about money. Beautiful things make money”, declares Lord Acton.

Finally, I’m of the opinion that if CostumeFocus Laundry Club had stayed in the game and weathered the storm, it would have been a multi-million naira company today. Let’s be honest. There’s not a business anywhere that is without problems. Business is complicated and imperfect. Every business everywhere is staffed with imperfect human beings and exists by providing a product or service to other imperfect human beings. Therefore, it is not the strongest of the companies that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.

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Who's Responsible For Marital Bliss: The Man or Woman?

“My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife, you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher”. Those were the words of Socrates, one of the influential philosophers and thinkers of the 20^th century. And for those curious to know the secret to his been staying married, ‘My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she is coming with me’, says Jon BonJovi.

Today’s ‘journey’, however, is of a different kind. The conventional wisdom which places the responsibility of marital success on the shoulders of both husband and wife has been challenged. There’s a twist to the tale. And you need to drop your conventional and religious garb to appreciate this thought pattern.

Actually, I stumbled upon this treatise on a friend’s Facebook wall and I considered it worthy of circulation to my ever delightful audience. Please check on it and let me know your thoughts. Cheers!

IF A MARRIAGE IS SWEET AND WORKING, LOOK AGAIN, THE MAN, ESPECIALLY, IS DOING SOMETHING RIGHT!

I expect ladies to kick, and that’s natural because traditionally, women are more relational and relationship focused than men, but I want to appeal for a little patience so we can all see just what this unconventional thought might state.

First of all let me concede right from the start that most women WANT, DESIRE and if possible DEMAND that their marriages not only work but that it should be sweet, a paradise that their entire life is woven around.

We could say a woman, deep down in her heart, seem to expect her whole life climax in marriage. Marriage is a huge ultimate destination in most women’s mind. In fact, when you find a woman who loaths marriage, you are looking at an individual who had been forced by circumstances to abandon her huge and maybe only dream of paradise. To lose a chance to have a great marriage for a woman is totally unpardonable. I won’t marry such a woman for a price of a million dollars. She is a disaster waiting to explode. So here we are, almost all women naturally wants to have a great marriage. Without gainsaying, most women would do whatever they deem necessary to make their marriages work and sweet.

So how is the man the key to a sweet and a working marriage then? Most men don’t view marriage with nostalgia as women do. For most men, marriage is just another stage that one is naturally expected to grow into. Most men don’t think marriage hold much promise beyond the respect that society attaches to it. If you thought this male attitude is inconsequential you are in error, and the error is monumental! Put in plain

language, it is sabotage, it is the reason why most marriages are in shambles and under-performing!!

No man can hold on to this prevalent notion about marriage and have a sweet and working marriage. When you find a sweet and working marriage, there is an unusual man in the mix. No matter the efforts of the best of women to make marriage work until her man takes the driver’s seat in that marriage she would soon tire and like 90% of women she would turn their passion toward her offsprings fiercely. If we must ask the position of the divine on this matter, man is designed to be the driver of marriage that’s what it means to be the head, he is expected to design a sweet vision for everyone to follow.

In the beginning Man began life with marriage, and we are going to end it in marriage of eternal duration. Could marriage be more serious than this? Sabotage, that’s the biggest challenge marriages are facing in homes and its coming from the inappropriate value men place on this divine institution.

Ephesians 5 : 25 - Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church and gave himself for it;

26 - that he might sanctify and cleans it with the washing of the water by the word,

27 - that he might present it to himself a glorious Church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

So if it’s going to work and if it’s going to be sweet, just as Christ’s pattern suggests, it’s up to the man and not the woman.

Why?

Simple, most women already crave a sweet marriage. So every little commitment of the man to make marriage work would most likely receive an exaggerated cooperation and zealous participation from the women. There are always exception of course, but most women are grieving because they have been everywhere; prayer houses and shrines seeking to make it work but to no avail. Some of them even go into the extent of hypnotizing their men thinking they can engineer perpetual romance, thinking control can give it to them. What they get is usually worse, they get a moron. Nothing indeed compares to a man in his right mind making his home a paradise. The only kinds of women who would abuse the offer of such a man are those who would be shocked that there could still be men of this stock and of course those obnoxious ones, who in my opinion, don’t qualify to marry.

Most men view marriage, good and sweet marriage as nothing of much significance because they lack spiritual understanding. Most men are completely unaware that divine help is opulently available to those whose marriages are worked beyond the tenets of social studies.

Consider these:

(a) if two of you shall agree concerning ANYTHING it shall be done for you of my father in heaven . Matthew 18: 19

(b) one shall chase a thousand, and two shall put 10 thousand to flight.
(c) if you don’t treat your wife right your prayers would be hindered. I Peter 3: 7

...And there's a whole lot more!

Bottom line is, however great a woman’s passion is to make her marriage work, typically, she would wear herself out and thin until a man sees the value in having a beautiful marriage. Most marriages would work if it’s solely up to the women. Nothing works in marriage except the man makes it work!

FINAL WORD:

“I didn’t marry you because you were perfect”, declares Thornton Wilder. “I didn’t even marry you because I loved you,” he continued. “I married you because you gave me a promise. That promise made up for your faults. And the promise I gave you made up for mine. Two imperfect people got married and it was the promise that made the marriage. And when our children were growing up, it wasn’t a house that protected them; and it wasn’t our love that protected them – it was that promise.”

Kindly share.

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