"Man has two great spiritual needs," declared Billy Graham. "One is for forgiveness. The other is for goodness." For me, there is a third: Forgetfulness. Did I hear you ask, "Why?". Trust me, it's not as simple as you think, for it was Thomas Szasz, a renowned psychiatrist, who quipped, "The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naïve forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget." Nothing, however, could be farther from the truth.
At this juncture, you might want to disagree with me to take sides with Szasz. But before you do, let's be clear. Forgetfulness doesn't mean you should never remember the name of your adversary or the painful events that hurt you deeply. To 'forget', in this context, is to make a conscious effort to choose not to let that awful memory of your past influence your future decision relating to that person or event.
To forget has nothing to do with self-denial. It, however, has everything to do with absolving the criminal of his crime and relieving oneself of the burden of being a victim. Indeed, "one of the keys to happiness is a bad memory", says Rita Mae Brown. But the trouble is, most of us don't know how to 'erase' it. Of a truth, there appears to be no Product Manual for forgiveness, nor Beginners Guide for getting past betrayals, disappointments and hurts, however, the bible - the infallible word of God is not silent on this issue. Regardless of the opinion of men, it is important to consider the words of the only authentic authority on this subject - the Creator of the Universe - the One who practically forgives and forgets on a daily basis. If we were indeed made in His image, why aren't we getting it right? Here are 3 important reasons why we should:
One: If you forgive others their trespass, your heavenly Father will also forgive you (and your sins will He remember no more). Matthew 6:14. Therefore, if God has chosen to wipe your slate clean and give you a clean bill of health, how much more should you to your fellow man.
Two: "If anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted," Galatians 6:1-2. "The willingness to forgive is a sign of spiritual and emotional maturity," Gordon Hinckley posits. "It is one of the great virtues to which we should all aspire. Imagine a world filled with individuals willing both to apologize and to accept an apology, nothing will be impossible for them to achieve".
Finally: "If you forgive anyone's sins, they will be forgiven. But if you don't forgive their sins, they will not be forgiven," John 20:23. Selah (think about these things).
Among other things, to forgive and forget requires the help of the Holy Spirit. And you can only access Him if you confess and accept Jesus as your Lord and Saviour. If you will, please say this prayer with me: 'Father, forgive me of my sins. I accept and confess Jesus Christ as my Lord & personal Saviour in Jesus Name'. Amen.
I cherish your feedback and your willingness to also share this with others. God bless you.
Sam Adel'
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Wow! I'm blessed. Man of God,this is a timeless truth. God bless you sir.
ReplyDeleteNice write up and point of view, but there's more to forgiving and forgetting than this, even God doesn't just forgive people, there must be acknowledgment. How can you forgive someone who doesn't feel he has done you evil? You can, for your own soul, but it virtually makes no difference as long as there is no acknowledgement.
ReplyDelete@ Godsplan: i need more clarification on 'acknowledgement'.
ReplyDeleteDear Anonymous,
DeleteFor God to forgive and forget your sins, you need to acknowledge your error, show remorse and consciously ask Him to forgive you. And thereafter ask the Holy Spirit to help you live according to His standards.
However, if your fellow human offends you evil and he/she refuses to acknowledge her error, you have two choices: choose to forgive, let go and move on with life OR keep grudges - which makes you bitter, miserable and at the risk of losing eternal life.
To forgive and forget is a choice you can make - independent of whether the offender acknowledges it or not.
"Follow peace with all men and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord. Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled". Hebrews 12: 13-14.
To forgive and forget is an act of the will. It is like a cancelled note, torn into two and burned up, so that it can never be shown against the offender.
His grace is sufficient for us and His strength is made perfect in our weaknesses. Amen.